The Sleep Battle: Will This War Ever Be Won?

I got kicked in the nose. Time: 1:53 a.m. Place: My bed. Alleged Offender: My kid.

Sound familiar?

Hey fellow moms, what is it with this sleep, or lack of sleep, thing? He’s almost three and we’re still struggling with sleep issues. He used to be a good sleeper, but that was ages ago. Now going to bed is increasingly a chore because all he wants to do is play with mom and dad, even pulls out the “I miss you” line which yanks at ye olde heart strings.

Then once he’s down, he gets up in the middle of the night, probably three times a week. We try not to bring him into our bed, but sometimes you know that you’ve got a tough day tomorrow at work and you’re already at the end of your rope, and you just. need. sleep. He comes into our bed once a week and last week I slept on his floor one night. (My back loved that.)

Most of my mommy friends stay at home or as I prefer to call them: Work Inside The Home. Most of their kids don’t do this. I know we shouldn’t compare our kids to other kids, each one is different yadda,yadda,yadda, but the truth is we do. So anyway, most of them don’t have this issue. Many of the working moms I do know struggle with this problem.

It all makes me wonder if it’s because moms who work inside the home are able to be tougher on letting their kid just cry for an hour or two. It sucks if you’re tired all day and home alone with the kid. You’re grumpy and struggling not to kill them. I’ve been there. However, when I’m going into work the next day, I’m grumpy, struggling and I could screw something up, causing even more ramifications later in the week.

I obviously don’t have a solution, or I would have written a post about that. I am just curious as to if anyone’s has noticed that same difference or if it’s just that I need to get a better balance of friends who work inside the home vs. outside the home. Or maybe I just need to stop comparing my kid’s sleeping habits to others, accept that this is how things are and suck it up.

Thoughts?

The Favorite Parent: Mommy vs Daddy

Right now in our house I’m the favorite parent. He wants mommy to hold him, tuck him in, feed him, dress him, watch TV with him, play with his trains, read his books you name it, I’m it. Oftentimes it’s sweet, I really love Logantime, but at the end of a long work day, sometimes you want a nice snuggle and then have someone else do the bedtime struggle.

Logan’s going through the stage where he has a laundry list of requests before he goes down, milk, water, certain toys, floss his teeth, all stall tactics of the inevitable _ going to sleep. Though we draw the line and don’t fill most of his requests, it tries my patience. Hubby has no problem stepping in on the frontlines, but Logan’s response to him is “No, not you. … Mommy.” Actually that’s the response that he has for dad in a lot that he does. Though Logan switches it up with an “I don’t like you” and “go away.”

And I know picking a favorite is just something that kids do, but my sweet sensitive husband takes it so personally. It makes him feel bad, like the cool kids at the lunch table banned him from sitting with them. On the flipside, I love it when he’s the favorite parent! I kick up my heels and relax or use the extra time to get stuff done around the house.

But for now I’m Numero Uno. So what we’re trying to do is not always give in to the demand for Mommy, I talk with Logan about how great daddy is and remind him that indeed he does like is dad and that he needs to be nice. We also try to reiterate that it’s OK to like both parents at the same time. Who knows if this works, but it’s been our game plan. Though I kinda feel that it’s something that he’s going to do for years.

After all, I remember having favorites, sometimes I liked dad more, other times mom, even into adulthood. Now which parent I prefer depends on the subject matter, in some instances it seems my dad will understand me more, others it’s mom. So I guess hubby and I should just get used to it since it seemingly won’t change.

What Makes Me a Better Mom? No Kids and No Hubby

After my whirlwind weekend away with the girls, I noticed I was basquing in an afterglow of sorts. When my toddler dove into shrill screams of protest, I shrugged it off and kept going. When hubby forgot to take out the trash, again, I sighed. Well, he’ll just have to do it later.

Wait. Who is this patient person?

I noticed she shows up like clockwork right after I get a break from my husband and my kid and get to be me, not the cleaning-cooking-nose-and-butt-wiping-attentive-partner me. But just me.

This past week I’ve brought more order to my house, crossing items off my to-do list that have been there since January. I’ve been able to listen better to the trials and tribulations of my husband’s job and my little guy’s tantrums seem less intense and more amusing. I even made Mickey Mouse-shaped, whole wheat pancakes on Saturday, which *totally* isn’t me. (It was bad. M&Ms were the eyes and nose, and I carved a strawberry into a smile.)

I believe I do a really good job of carving out “me” time. Out of all my mommiefriends I feel I do that the most and I think I’m much better for it. It can be hard to take time away, you feel guilty for not wanting to be with the loves of your life, but you have to remember, you are a love of of your life too and you must nurture that.

Plus your partner appreciates you more when he’s walked a bit in your shoes and your kids are sweeter (even if it’s short-lived) because they’ve missed you.

All mommies know this, we just need to force ourselves to make it a priority. It’s easy to lose who you are in the day-to-day grind of life, but taking time out to do whatever you want without your kid and your soulmate is an essential touchstone. It makes me a better mommy and wife because it keeps me happy.