Staying Connected With Your Loved One? There’s an App For That

Email. Facebook. Twitter. Text message. Voicemail. These are all the ways Hubby and I stay connected. (Outside of talking to each other that is.) It often feels like with our schedules we’re ships passing in the night, but with a little help, we try to make it work.

I was thinking about our relationship earlier this week and was amazed at how much we use technology to communicate whereas years ago couples would *gasp!* speak with each other. We text every morning: “Have a good day!” Or “Good luck with <insert important event/task here>” or “Don’t forget the dry cleaning!”

There’s emails throughout the day, usually focused on scheduling. Someone has to work late, someone has impromptu drinks with an executive, updates on dates and times of doctor appointments, vacations, out-of-town guests, work functions, etc.

When I get off work, I always call him and inevitably get his voicemail, so I give him the update on my day and my plan for the evening. It’s gotten to the point that when he answers, it throws me for a loop. That’s an observation worth revisiting, it catches me off-guard to actually catch my husband on the phone. That can’t be normal, or can it?

We then text each other for the rest of the evening about when he’ll be home, what’s for dinner, how Logan’s doing. Also if one parent is enjoying fun time with Logan and the other one’s away, we text or post pictures on Facebook so the other person can be “there.”

I wonder how do parents make it work when one spouse travels a lot for work? I suppose Skype then comes to the rescue.

Technology can be a funny thing. Did you know there’s even an app for resolving a problem with your spouse? It’s called “Fix A Fight,” and it apparently walks you and your loved one through an eight-step process where you pass the smartphone between each other, answering questions and listening to narration from a marital therapist.

What’s next? Virtual sex? Oh wait, that already exists. But I do wonder what other technologies are yet-to-be developed that families will use to stay connected.

I’m glad we have the technology to help mend the gaps, I personally just wish we didn’t have as many gaps. But as long as the emails, texts, Tweets and apps are enhancing communication and not supplanting it, I think it’s OK.

We do have to remember to aggressively steal away time not only for the big talks, but the chit-chat too because staying connected is what it’s all about.

Lying To Your Partner About Your Purchases

Ever told your hubby that your new killer boots were on clearance and by “on clearance” you meant on the way to the clearance rack you stumbled upon the store’s hottest items? Or what about you guys, did you secretly wait in line, procure the iPhone4 and try to pass it off as your old iPhone?

Lying to your spouse about what you spend happens. Actually according to one survey, it happens a lot. The one done recently by credit debt management firm CESI Debt Solutions says 80 percent of married respondents lie to their partners about spending.

Why is that? Some say it’s because their partner needn’t know everything. Marriage is full of compromises and it’s a lot of hard work. On some things people don’t feel like ceding ground, so they shop in secret, or at least delay the truth until the bill arrives.

Hubby and I have a different set up. We don’t have joint accounts, mostly because we never got around to setting one up after we got married. And now, eight years later, this is our normal. Thankfully he takes care of all of the bill-paying, so I just give him a sizable amount of my check for the household and the rest is my play money.

Most of my “extraneous” purchases are clothes and usually I’m so stoked about them, I show him my latest finds. Poor guy, he just patiently nods and smiles. The biggest purchase he’s made that I didn’t know about was when he got the car chipped (to make it drive faster.) But that was also a sort of surprise “gift” for me since I’m such a speed demon.

Another example is when friends of ours were climbing their way out of debt and the husband began squirreling away money. Instead of putting it toward old credit card bills, he spent thousands on new golf clubs. Ouch.

If you’re keeping money secrets because you’re embarrassed about bad spending habits, try to get your partner to help you make better decisions without judgment or condemnations. Also, get a financial planner, we’ve used one and it was helpful.

If it’s about wanting to feel free to make your own decisions, if you can afford to, create a small discretionary fund. It can be all yours, but keep it small, and be open and honest about the purchases.

“They” always say communication is key to a successful marriage and a good chunk of marriages end in divorce over money troubles, so stop lying about your spending people.

Conversations about money are hard, but they’re essential in a relationship. Besides, no one said marriage was a cake walk, they just said you could get cake at the wedding.