Early in the morning I’d pull into daycare before jetting off to work and the other moms would glare at me. They’d give me a once-over and their eyes would narrow in distain. At first I thought it was in my head, but then it happened again and again and again.
What is it with these women? They’d all be so nice when I’d pick up Logan at the end of the day, were they all grumpy morning people? Admittedly a lot of them looked like they hadn’t yet had their morning coffee, sporting sweatpants, Uggs and off-kilter ponytails. I was perplexed.
When I went on maternity leave, we decided to keep Logan in daycare to maintain his routine and my sanity. Since I wasn’t working, I started taking him to school every day and I’d rush in with a hat on my head, yoga pants and coat zipped up all the way so no one could see my husband’s holey shirt underneath.
One morning a pencil-thin mommy with perfectly coifed hair and a snazzy suit walked out of the school while I was walking in. She smiled at me with her freshly brushed teeth. I glowered back.
And then I paused. Damn, I’m a hypocrite. Suddenly I understood the stink eye I’d been getting. It was because I appeared to be so together when dropping off my kid. Look, getting your family ready on time in the mornings can be hell.
Then you arrive at daycare and some moms look like they’re straight out of Working Women’s magazine while others look like suburban panhandlers. The panhandlers think: “She got a shower this morning, she is wearing clean clothes, she has on makeup. It must be nice.”
But really we’re all in the same boat. We all made Herculean efforts to get to school on time. It’s just that once that morning battle is finished, some moms have to go into the office where they frown on scrunchies and flannel shirts and other moms have to go back home pick up the house or go to the grocery store where they’re a bit more forgiving when it comes to yoga pants, Uggs and off-kilter ponytails.
I got kicked in the nose. Time: 1:53 a.m. Place: My bed. Alleged Offender: My kid.
Hey fellow moms, what is it with this sleep, or lack of sleep, thing? He’s almost three and we’re still struggling with sleep issues. He used to be a good sleeper, but that was ages ago. Now going to bed is increasingly a chore because all he wants to do is play with mom and dad, even pulls out the “I miss you” line which yanks at ye olde heart strings.
Then once he’s down, he gets up in the middle of the night, probably three times a week. We try not to bring him into our bed, but sometimes you know that you’ve got a tough day tomorrow at work and you’re already at the end of your rope, and you just. need. sleep. He comes into our bed once a week and last week I slept on his floor one night. (My back loved that.)
Most of my mommy friends stay at home or as I prefer to call them: Work Inside The Home. Most of their kids don’t do this. I know we shouldn’t compare our kids to other kids, each one is different yadda,yadda,yadda, but the truth is we do. So anyway, most of them don’t have this issue. Many of the working moms I do know struggle with this problem.
It all makes me wonder if it’s because moms who work inside the home are able to be tougher on letting their kid just cry for an hour or two. It sucks if you’re tired all day and home alone with the kid. You’re grumpy and struggling not to kill them. I’ve been there. However, when I’m going into work the next day, I’m grumpy, struggling and I could screw something up, causing even more ramifications later in the week.
I obviously don’t have a solution, or I would have written a post about that. I am just curious as to if anyone’s has noticed that same difference or if it’s just that I need to get a better balance of friends who work inside the home vs. outside the home. Or maybe I just need to stop comparing my kid’s sleeping habits to others, accept that this is how things are and suck it up.
Posted in Motherhood, Parenting
Tagged CIO, cry it out, dads, no sleep, sleep, sleep battle, sleep training, stay at home moms, tired, Toddler, Working Moms