Tag Archives: me time

Because You’re Worth It

I blogged a couple weeks ago about going on a babymoon and how great it is to get one in before your child is born. I was bound and determined to go on that last vacation as a family of three and it seemed like destiny was equally bound and determined not to let it happen.

Story time at Timber Ridge Lodge

First Hubby and I had trouble finding a weekend that worked for us, he was traveling and I had my own work schedule conflicts. Once we settled on a date, all of my friends decided to do something fun that weekend.

A good friend from Philly was visiting Chicago, a great gal pal was having a birthday party and my best friend who lives in suburban St. Louis was coming to town. I wanted to cancel our babymoon.

Then Logan got sick. So sick he stayed home from daycare for two days, which *never* happens. My kid’s hacking up a lung, has a fever and I really wanted to cancel our babymoon.

Finally, it became clear that I’d have to work late on the Friday that we’d planned to leave. I proclaimed our babymoon was cancelled.

But we never picked up the phone to scrap our reservations. Largely because deep down we knew that we needed a break. We needed to hit the pause button on our crazy lives so we could catch our breath and for us that’s not possible unless you get out of Dodge.

Nevertheless I kept telling myself it was a mistake not to break our babymoon.

Friday night came and I was running even later than anticipated. After racing home, rushing through dinner and finishing off the packing, I was wound so tightly that I didn’t want to go anywhere except for bed. But I stuck with it, we were having this babymoon.

After an hour’s drive to Lake Geneva, Wis., we got to the Timber Ridge Lodge and Waterpark at 10 p.m. and Logan thought it was the greatest adventure ever. He was bouncing off the walls, the couch, the bed, everything. Finally, he passed out on the bed, Hubby went to the store to fill the suite’s kitchen and I sat on the couch as I felt the stresses of the day melt away.

The next day, we had a blast at the waterpark, spent some time in the cozy downtown area and enjoyed story time in our PJs in the hotel’s lobby with about 50 other kids. I even got a few hours of peace and quiet alone in the bedroom and that was heaven.

All in all it was a tough road to get to our babymoon, but the biggest hurdle was in my mind. And that’s how it is for many of us, we have to push ourselves hard to take time to get away. Often we decide there’s just too many other things that need taking care of, so we neglect ourselves.

Honestly, that weekend the laundry didn’t get washed, the grocery shopping wasn’t done and the house wasn’t picked up. Yet we came back feeling more rested, ready for the upcoming week and even a little closer as a family.

I’m so glad we took a break to be with just each other and I blog about this since I’m hopeful you will do the same for you and yours because you’re worth it.

Our Roles: Mom, Wife, Working Woman, Daughter … What about Friend?

You’re a mom and depending on the day, that takes up 90 to 100 percent of your energy. You’ve also got your career for which you’ve been committed to for years. Then there’s your hubby, and let’s not forget your own parents, siblings or other family members. So, what about your friends? Where do they fit in?

In our be-everything-to-everyone lives, finding time to spend with friends is hard. It’s crammed into your dwindling “Me Time” and it doesn’t happen near as much as anyone would like. No one wants to be the clichéd girl who fell off the map once she became a mom. She’s only better than the chic in college who disappeared after she got a boyfriend. But it happens.

I confess I’ve got friends I haven’t seen in two years. And I care about them dearly, but we can’t seem to get our schedules to mesh. Other friends, I do pretty good with. I still talk to my best friend almost every day and a group of my mommyfriends and I connect regularly.

However when things get extra busy, friends are the first thing to go. I become very slow to return phone calls and forget to return e-mails. Just last weekend I mixed up the dates for a birthday party and was a no-show. Lame right?

One good thing is I try to surround myself with people who understand, who won’t make you feel guilty for falling off the map. I mean, you’re already going to feel bad, who needs someone who will make you feel worse? And those understanding pals sometimes are moms, sometimes they’re not. I think it depends on that person’s nature. My best advice? Focus on the quality friends who make you feel good about you.

Another solution has been to block off time weeks in advance and treat the date as if it’s a doctor appointment. That gives me time to give Hubby notice, get a babysitter if need be and stave off possible time conflicts. Though admittedly it becomes awkward when I tell people that our weekends are booked until mid-September, but it’s true. It’s our system, it’s not perfect, but it works.

This may seem contradictory to my previous point, but I also recommend allowing for some spontaneity. Once I had an unexpected open evening and decided to hang out. It was 5 p.m. and I called eight of my friends to see who was free. The proposal was no dinner, no coffee, just go a movie and then go home. Two of us went and had a blast.

It’s hard to find time to fit in friends, but when we do we always feel rejuvenated and more like “ourselves.” They’re an awesome touchstone. If a date with a pal doesn’t work out, don’t beat yourself up for it. Just try again.