Owning His Fear: He’s ‘Not Afraid’

Like many Americans, we hit the sidewalk yesterday all dressed up with a bucket in tow to go knock on strangers’ doors and beg for candy. Halloween, what a fun holiday!

It also can be horribly scary, especially through the eyes of a 3 year old. Logan was a fireman and a mighty happy one at that. In the suburban land of the homemade costumes, my kid’s was bought from the store, but hey he was ecstatic over it and so was I. He had an inflatable fire extinguisher on his back and an Elmo pail for hauling candy.

Some of the houses had groaning ghouls, cackling witches and moaning mummies. Whenever we’d walk up to one of these haunts he’d clutch my finger tighter and his steps would get tinier.

“It’s OK, it’s just pretend. There’s no need to be scared. I’m right here. It can’t hurt you. You’re OK.” I’d say over and over again.

Remember how terrifying it was to be a little one? All those strange noises that adults didn’t seem to notice? The nightmares? Scooby Doo? (I remember one of my babysitters always watched Scooby Doo and it scared the crap out of me.)

In our house we’re working with owning our fears. A few months back, Logan started saying how he was afraid of monsters, so we talked about how monsters weren’t real,  they couldn’t hurt us, and we can always tell them just to not scare us.

Somehow that became part of our nighttime routine. We now have a Monster Speech where after we turn out the lights, we stand in the hallway and command the monsters not to scare Logan. He gives the speech, and with much gusto. Over the months it’s morphed into telling the monsters not to scare him, not to break his toys and to leave his family alone.

He’s always so proud of himself when it’s done. And we haven’t had any monster scares since. I’m hoping we help him own his fears.

Back on the Halloween trail after about an hour of trick or treating, we start up the driveway of a house with scary decorations and he begins to sing:

“I’m not aaffffraaaaiiiddd…” a la Eminem. (I’d been listening to that song a lot several weeks back.)

Hubby and I looked at each other, realized what he was singing and jumped in with him with wild excitement: “To take a stand! Everybody! Come take my hand!…”

We were very proud of our firefighter and we certainly rattled the chains of the little old white lady who was waiting with bewilderment at her door at the approaching rapping family.

Finding a Boo-rific Halloween Costume

“What are you going to be for Halloween?” Remember when we were in school and during this time of year that was the question du jour? I still smile fondly when thinking about my favorite childhood outfit. It was one of the honkers from Sesame Street. Honk, Honk.

Halloween can be such a fun time, especially if you love to dress up like I do. Now that I’m a mom, I love that I get to dress up my kid. For his first Halloween, he was a screaming pumpkin. I say screaming because he didn’t care too much for the outfit. For his second, he was a Bear, which was fitting because his nickname is LoganBear. (Though he still wasn’t wild about the costume.) Last year it was a dinosaur, which we both loved. Now it’s our fourth and he’s got a strong opinion.

I wondered, what is he going to be this year? I worried that the days of me choosing a cutesy outfit for my little guy were over. I wanted to dress him up as a sweet little bumblebee, you know paint his nose black and everything, but he’s got a healthy obsession with Batman and Spiderman, so I figured he’d rather be a superhero.

Last weekend we ventured out to one of those seasonal Halloween stores. It wasn’t until I was about 10 feet from the store’s door that I remembered how these places’ ghoul-factor can be over the top. I quickly warned Logan that there might be scary things inside, but that they were all pretend and nothing could hurt him. Then in taking from “The Blind Side,” I told him if he saw anything he didn’t like, just to close his eyes.

We walked past several zombies, skeletons and other monsters and he seemed unphased. In the kiddie department we saw what I hear are this year’s hottest costumes, Buzz Lightyear, Avatar and Ironman. They also had Spiderman, Batman and the perfect bumblebee outfit.

Nothing really excited him until we saw the firefighter costume. His eyes lit up and I knew, that had to be the one. Of course they didn’t have his size, so we bought the hat and I vowed to find him the full costume at another store.

Upon walking out, some Logan-sized goblin contraption jumped out at him (who at the store thought that’d be a good idea?) and he buried his face in my leg and just said” “Mom!” I scooped him up, his face planted in my neck and we left unharmed.

To my relief, the next two stores were much more child-friendly and we finally got the fireman costume. In fact after trying it on, he refused to take it off, which was fine, we wore it for the rest of the afternoon.

Even though it wasn’t a bumblebee, I figured who cares? He’s happy and that’s what makes me happy.