How do you discipline your kid? Time outs? Ground them? Beat that a**? It varies from family to family, generation to generation and can make for some interesting discussions when everyone’s under the same roof.
We were recently watching the television show Parenthood, a series we love because we spend much of it laughing and nodding in agreement with the lessons learned. In a recent episode the grandparents came over to their daughter’s house and were surprised to find that their 6 year old granddaughter decided to be a vegetarian.
The grandfather, Zeek, tries to pressure the little girl to clean her plate for dinner, but it had meat on it and she refused. It’s a food fight we’re all familiar with and on Parenthood it later led to a discussion where the grandparents told their daughter that she is too lenient with her kid. Eventually they agreed to disagree. Hubby and I exchanged a look and smiled. We’d just been there.
After Ethan was born, his big brother was certainly out of sorts with the new baby, visitors and his sleep routine was completely off. It was bad, pretty much the worst I’ve ever seen him. My parents were staying with us at the time and they both talked with me individually about Logan’s behavior.
They talked about the need for Logan to have more boundaries and my dad said I needed to buckle down and control him. I talked with them about how our parenting style is different than theirs, not knocking their choices, but we’re more of a Supernanny meets Dr. Thomas Phelan.
Granted that week because I was dealing with other stuff, Hubby and I weren’t on our normal parenting routine either and Logan took advantage. We’re back on track now, the tantrums are still there, but much less intense and much less frequent.
It all made me think about disciplining through the generations, how it’s changed and will continue to do so. One of my mommyfriends says her parents also think she’s too lenient. It also apparently happened to my mother-in-law. While she says both us and Hubby’s sister were more lenient than she was in raising kids, but she respected it as our choice. She later said her own mother also told her that she was being too lenient with her children, but my MIL insisted that was different because *her* mom didn’t know what she was talking about.
I always smile at that. It kinda seems like a part of life doesn’t it? The previous generation offering input to the next and both sides not necessarily seeing eye-to-eye on all of it, but still with identical goals: loving the newest generation.